Somewhere over the Railing

Cats are all over the internet, why you ask, because they are hilarious. Yes, I am going to be one of THOSE people that will write an entire blog post dedicated to the hilarity of my cat. I have had my furball for about 16 years. He is very old but the vet says very healthy, considering he is made up of twenty three pounds of cuddly, jiggly and fatty fluff. He used to be an outdoor cat, able to run about the yard (and neighborhood) terrorizing the birds, butterflies and grasshoppers that dared to enter his territory. He became an indoor car when I moved to college; he was packed up, memories and all and moved an hour away to “Dawg Country,” but this did not phase him one bit. It was about a year later that I noticed he started longingly staring at the back porch door while making his big green eyes look larger and more sad than they already were. I started letting Peanut, his name, outside onto my second floor balcony and would watch as he poked his head out as far as he could get it to fit (his body wouldn’t fit due to his large lard of a body) and stare at the birds, the grass, the people walking by. If he could talk I knew that he would be cursing my way for not letting him roam free.

Tonight, I caught him out by the railing of my new townhouse, second floor as well, looking just as sad as he had for years. He probably thinks he will never roll in grass again; he definitely plots his revenge on me while I am sleeping. As I laughed in his sympathy I started singing to myself (is out loud still considered to yourself?) a remixed version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow and here it goes…

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Somewhereeeeeeeee over the railing,
Way down there,
there’s a land that I dream of,
Once when they didn’t care.

Somewhereeeeeeeee over the railing,
Skies are blue.
And the dreams that I dare to dream,
Really won’t come true.

I always wish upon the stars,
To wake up where the clouds are far
Aboveeeeee meeeeeeee.
My troubles never leave me here
The birds are always chirping near
but I can’ttttttttttt catchhhhhhh themmmmm.

Somewhereeeeeeeee over the railing,
The grass is green.
You can roll allllllll in it,
Why, ohhhhh, why can’t me?

And there you have it, my remix made for my cat. All rights reserved to Peanut, the fat cat (as my roommate calls him).
Goodnight and sleep safe, a cat near you could be plotting their revenge as all.